Not Afraid Anymore
by PrincesaVanessa
Summary: Twenty-three times Princess Azula didn't say I love you, and one time she did. Drabbles for Tyzula Advent 2018. -COMPLETE-
1. Chapter 1

**NOT AFRAID ANYMORE**

 **.**

 **DAY ONE: ALONE**

 **.**

Azula wants to run. She wants to run because she has fallen in love and she was not born to love, not designed to love. Her father reminded her of that constantly in her youth.

Ty Lee smiles at her, kissing her cheek, then her nose. Azula's mind spins.

When Ty Lee touches her hand, Azula pulls away.

"I love you," says Ty Lee.

"Thank you," Azula replies coolly.

She just wishes she were alone.

All of this is too complicated.

Ty Lee happily kisses her again.

Azula loves it but she hates it.

She just wishes she were alone.


	2. Chapter 2

**DAY TWO: SATISFIED**

 **.**

Ty Lee's eyes gleam and glisten. Azula steals glances at them, too afraid to stare into them when in such a vulnerable state. She stares at people only to intimidate them and for no other reason. Her pride would hurt too terribly if she let Ty Lee know how she feels. Not now, not ever.

But they both are in a state, a certain state, of openness, rawness, satisfaction.

They lie on an oversized red bed with more pillows than any human could ever need.

Ty Lee looks up.

"I love you," whispers Ty Lee, smiling.

Azula hesitates.

"I know."


	3. Chapter 3

**DAY THREE: ON FIRE**

* * *

It is on fire. Oh Agni, it is on fire.

The bed is on fire. Azula honestly did not intend for this to happen, but who would?

Ty Lee starts laughing, giggling, shaking, in hysterics, until Azula shoots her a silencing glare. The acrobat coughs a few times before she earns the princess's respect once more.

"I'm…" Ty Lee blushes, shifts her weight a little awkwardly, still afraid that Azula will slip away again. "I'm glad you liked it. I love you and I love your fire…"

Azula waves her hand and snuffs out the flames consuming her beloved bed.


	4. Chapter 4

**ON FIRE**

It was on fire. The jewelry booth at the Caldera Pier Market was on fire. Ty Lee's teeth sunk into her lower lip as she forcefully smiled at the panicked vendor. Azula grabbed the poor man by the collar.

"Try to screw over my girlfriend again and I'll have you arrested. Or worse," snarled the princess.

It was embarrassing but Ty Lee admittedly almost swooned. What? That kind of thing was hot. Ty Lee could not be the only person in the world who felt that way.

As Azula stepped back, Ty Lee beamed at her.

"I love you." Ty Lee kissed Azula's cheek.

"I know."

 **BAD AT LOVE**

"I will…" Azula looked pained. "I will admit that I am…. I am…" She took a breath. "I am bad at love. Bad at loving."

Ty Lee examed Azula for a moment. She softly touched her hands, then her face. She kissed her.

"But you try. That's all that matters to me."

"I am Princess Azula. I do better than try. I always do better than try. Trying is for the weak."

Ty Lee gazed deeply into Azula's eyes for a moment before quickly turning her head to look away.

"You're strong. You're the strongest. And I love you." Ty Lee kissed her on the lips and bit down gently before pulling away and sitting down.

Azula remained silent, cold and statuesque.

 **BEAUTY QUEEN**

Ty Lee's hair was done up real big beauty queen style, like the girls from Ba Sing Se. She looked gorgeous tonight as she danced alone in the dark. Azula could not help but realize she was in love with Ty Lee as they stood beneath the pale moonlight.

She tried to hide it. She tried to conceal her feelings as Ty Lee spun around barefoot on the damp grass, shoes in her hand, smiling at her girlfriend.

"Princess," Ty Lee chirped, spinning in the starlight, "will you dance with me?"

Azula hesitated for a moment before nodding.

They twirled together, a little clumsily.

"I love you," Ty Lee whispered in Azula's ear.

"Stop stepping on my feet."

 **BITTERSWEET**

Ty Lee stood away from the carnage as Azula sobbed and destroyed her bedroom. The acrobat just watched patiently, not intervening like Zuko would. That only made it worse and Ty Lee was the only one who seemed to realize that.

Azula appreciated it from Ty Lee, even if she was not in the state of mind to do so right now.

Maybe Azula's girlfriend had some redeeming qualities, some things about her the princess loved.

"Ty…" Azula stood breathless for a moment, staring at the teacup glass in her bloody hands. "Ty Lee…. I need you."

Her girlfriend obliged, subtly guiding Azula to sit down beside her and catch her breath.

"I love you," whispered Ty Lee.

"Thank you."

 **EMPTY**

"I just…" Azula struggled to find the words. Discussing her feelings was never her greatest strength. "I just feel empty. But the truth is, it's the best I've ever felt in years. Empty is pleasant. It's better than full of rage."

Ty Lee frowned. She wanted to be supportive but those words broke her heart. '

"Princess," Ty Lee whispered, 'I don't know how to help you. P-people love you. People love you and don't want you to feel empty."

Azula scoffed and mockingly said, "Yes. Everybody loves me."

"I love you," insisted Ty Lee, undeterred by Azula's cruel tone.

"I need you to leave," said Azula.

Ty Lee complied. "Bye, princess."

She started walking but Azula stopped her with a single look. Ty Lee turned to face her for a moment.

"Thank you for loving me," said Azula softly.

Ty Lee smiled at her and left.

 **BREAK FREE**

Azula and Ty Lee laid in the palace courtyard, staring up at the stars. They remained in comfortable silence for a long while.

"I want to break free of the chains my brother placed on me," said Azula.

"That sounds dangerous," replied Ty Lee.

"But it's al I want." Azula sighed. "Would you stand by me? Would you come with me if I ran?"

Ty Lee did not have to think.

"Yes. I would. I love you, Azula."

The princess smirked.

 **TRUST**

"Do you trust me?" whispered Ty Lee.

"How can I?" swiftly replied Azula.

"I… I don't know. It's been a long time since the Boiling Rock. I thought maybe." Ty Lee blushed. She felt like a complete and utter fool. Azula rubbed her lips together and gazed at her girlfriend for a long while.

"I do not trust you, but I do care about you," reluctantly admitted Azula.

"I love you," said Ty Lee.

"I know."


	5. Chapter 5

**DIRTY**

"Oh, what? Do I make you think dirty thoughts?" Azula's lips flickered with a small, mischievous, mocking smile.

Ty Lee blushed and rubbed her neck. Azula loved making her squirm like that. She supposed she liked doing that to everyone in her life, but Ty Lee in particular. It was kind of cute. Azula tended not to care for cute, but Ty Lee, yet again, was the only exception.

"Yes," said Ty Lee softly, still a little embarrassed. "You really do."

Ty Lee giggled nervously. Azula offered a small, rather reassuring smirk.

"Good to hear," purred Azula, biting down slightly on her lower lip. Ty Lee swallowed.

"I love you," Ty Lee said softly, struggling with the words.

Azula looked away.

 **SEXY**

"We are easily the sexiest couple here. We are hotter than any flame in the Fire Nation," confidently declared Azula as she set one hand on her hip.

Ty Lee smiled at the compliment; they were so rare coming from her girlfriend.

The two of them were guests at a party thrown by Fire Lord Zuko for a number of politicians. The countless candles illuminated the room filled with gilded furniture and other false décor. It gave such an air of unrealistic royalty. Like Zuko was. A pretender on the throne, in Azula's opinion, and in the opinion of many others as well.

"I love being the sexiest couple," Ty Lee said, twisting her shoulders a little bit. Azula kissed her passionately on the lips and then stepped back. "And I love you."

"Dance with me," ordered Azula, and, of course, Ty Lee obeyed.

 **DRUNK**

Azula was in love but she could only admit it to herself when she was intoxicated. She drank and drank and drank tonight and could not stop thinking about how she loved Ty Lee, how she wanted Ty Lee, how she cared about her more than she had ever cared about someone before. Maybe Ty Lee was the only person Azula ever cared about, even more than her father and their false familial love for each other.

And yet she could not say it.

She could not look weak.

She could not make herself less powerful in Ty Lee's eyes.

If she did not own Ty Lee, Ty Lee could betray her again, could break her heart.

And no one was permitted to ever break Princess Azula's heart again.

"You're so hot," drawled Azula, her words slurred from the alcohol. It was not what she intended to say.

"Princess, you're drunk, but I love you," said Ty Lee.

"Shut up." Azula kissed her.

They made their way to the bed, stripping off their clothes as they went.


	6. Chapter 6

**I DIDN'T MEAN IT**

Ty Lee whispered softly in the dead of the night, "Why do you never say you love me? Do you love me?"

"I…" Azula hesitated. "Don't start questioning me or our relationship like that. It serves no purpose."

Ty Lee rubbed her lips together nervously. She was not sure whether or not to speak up. With Azula, one had to choose their battles. Everyone who knew her knew that.

"I didn't mean it," said Ty Lee, deciding what to do at last. She stared up at the dark ceiling and edged slightly closer to Azula in the huge royal palace bed.

The princess turned her head to face Ty Lee. "Mean what?"

"To argue," she whispered.

"Oh." Azula examined her nails for a moment. "You're my best friend, and the only person I want to kiss. Isn't that good enough for you, Ty Lee?"

"Of course," whispered the acrobat, touching Azula's hand gently. "I do love you. Please don't forget."

"I won't," said Azula.

Ty Lee smiled.


	7. Chapter 7

**PRETENDER**

Ty Lee began to wonder if Azula was only pretending. If Azula only pretended to like being with her, if she had some kind of ulterior motives that Ty Lee could not quite figure out. Ty Lee wished she was smarter, clever and manipulative like her girlfriend was so she could figure this problem out.

They were walking - hand in hand since no one could see them - through the beautiful palace gardens that once belonged to Ursa. Zuko made a point to grow them back after he became Fire Lord; Ozai let them fall into decay due to loathing of his wife.

Azula kissed Ty Lee's cheek, and then drifted her lips to her mouth. Ty Lee leaned closer to her as they wove their way back towards the tall rose bushes.

"Don't let the thorns prick you," said Azula softly as she started to undress her girlfriend.

They ended up on the grass, half naked and tearing at each other, biting and sucking and Ty Lee moaned.

"I love you," she cried out.

"Quiet. The gardeners will hear us," Azula whispered.

They returned to their tryst and Ty Lee hoped none of this was false affection.

Then again, it would still be pleasurable if it was.

 **SELFISH**

"Our relationship is just physical, isn't it?" whispered Ty Lee, eyes downcast.

Azula never saw her look so sad, so defeated, even at the Boiling Rock.

"Of course not. I love to spend time with you," said Azula. "You mean something to me, and no one else does. I would set the world on fire and not let a flame touch you."

Ty Lee could not help but smile. "I love you too."

"I never said…" Azula trailed off and changed the subject.

 **MEMORIES**

Sitting on the floor in the Fire Nation palace, sipping tea with her best friend in the whole wide world, Ty Lee asked an important question.

"Do you ever wonder if you're in love with the memories and not the person?" Ty Lee asked Mai.

"That was one of the reasons I left Zuko more than once. I loved the memories, not him. But when we made new memories, I did fall in love with the person. That's why we're together now," said Mai. "So tell me, do you like the new memories you make with Azula, or not?"

Ty Lee opened her mouth to speak but Azula walked in. Mai did nothing to hide that they were talking about her and it made the princess narrow her eyes.

"What is going on here?" Azula demanded.

"None of your business," said Mai and Azula clenched her fists.

Ty Lee leapt up. "I was just telling Mai how much I love you, princess, and she was making fun of me for how in love with you I am."

Ty Lee batted her eyelashes.

Azula felt like this was the moment. Maybe this was the stupid, small, but right time to say she loved Ty Lee.

Instead, she shrugged.

"I hope you are telling the truth."


	8. Chapter 8

**SELFISH**

Ty Lee knew Azula was selfish. In fact, Ty Lee was selfish too and she was just as aware of her own character flaws as she was of her girlfriend's.

They showed each other that almost every single day. It was inevitable, of course.

Today, it was Ty Lee's turn.

She threw a tantrum over something as simple as Azula getting sick and rescheduling their date.

"You're not even badly sick!" shouted Ty Lee. She pouted, eyes glistening, batting her eyelashes.

Azula propped herself up on the pillows and glaredZ

"If you dare speak like that again, I will flay you alive, you bitch. Show some deference!" Azula coughed, her yelling hurting her sore, swollen throat.

Ty Lee bowed her head.

"I love you, princess."

Azula weakly sighed.

 **MEMORIES**

"And what is making you nostalgic at the moment?" purred Azula mockingly, looking Ty Lee up and down. During the Solstice, they dined with Mai and Zuko and Azula's niece, Izumi.

"I have some good memories of you," said Ty Lee, with a cute smile and wink. "Really good memories."

"Oh?" Azula drawled, leaning closer to Ty Lee just by a slight distance.

Ty Lee said bluntly, "Memories about you throwing me on your bed and peeling off my clothes."

Azula bitterly frowned. "Do you have to make it sound so tawdry?"

"If it's all civilized you're not doing it right," loudly interjected Mai.

Ty Lee started laughing but stopped when Azula glared. Ty Lee smiled and leaned over the table to kiss her princess.

"I love you, and all my memories of you."

Azula shook her head and waved her hand dismissively before returning to her dinner.

 **FORGET**

Ty Lee stood with a leather bag draped over her shoulder and a frightened expression on her face.

"Please don't forget me, princess." Ty Lee kissed her tenderly and needily, sucking on her lower lip for a few passionate seconds.

"I will not," said Azula. "Not when you give me something like that to remember me by."

Azula placed her hand firmly on the small of Ty Lee'd delicate but strong back.

"I love you," whispered Ty Lee, kissing Azula as deeply as she could again. She kissed her once more before they broke apart.

"I know you do."

Azula smirked as Ty Lee reluctantly departed for her vacation to Kyushu Island.

 **VICTORY**

Azula and Ty Lee sat across from each other on the bed. Azula had nightmares; Ty Lee had regrets.

"I didn't stand by your side, and I'm sorry for that. But I couldn't let you kill her. I would've traded anything to stand by your side during our victory. And I know I should be on the wrong side of history for that, not the right side like I am thanks to my betrayal and joining the Kyoshi Warriors."

"They would forgive that, I'm sure. They're soft and would pity a girl in love. That's the only reason you second guessed switching sides, isn't it? Being madly in love with me like a fool."

Ty Lee cleared her throat and rubbed her neck. Azula stared directly at her relentlessly.

"I made the right choice. That doesn't mean I never wondered what would happen if I made the wrong one." Ty Lee blushed and felt sick. "I am sorry I left you. I'd do it again in a heartbeat but I really want you to forgive me. Please."

Azula hesitated before leaning in for a kiss.

"I love you," said Azula, so softly that it was almost a breath on the wind.

Ty Lee smiled at her victory.

"About time you admitted that," she whispered, wiping away a tear with the back of her hand.

Azula scowled.

 **THE END**

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AN: This is the first fanfiction I've completed since 2013 when I was still a geeky teenager writing Dramione fics lol. I'm happy with it and I hope all you guys enjoyed it! Happy Tyzula Advent!


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